Before I offer some concluding comments, I must confess:
I have been pretty resistant to the whole blog/social media idea, so please
forgive me for not being more involved with it.
I hate attention and dramatics and typically avoid those things as much
as I can. At the same time, though, a
lot of concerned people have asked for updates, and these have been the most effective
means of sharing those. Thank you for
sticking around throughout this story, and thank you to those who have updated you
all on my journey. This will hopefully
be the closing chapter of this blog and the beginning of some new adventures
for me.
In a world where division is one of the most notable
features, the past two months have been a powerful witness to me of how people
can come together despite differing personal beliefs. The world is full of amazing people. I am so grateful for the prayers and positive
thoughts that have come from so many people from all over the world and all
kinds of backgrounds (I guess that’s one good thing about social media). People were asked to pray, prayers were sent
to the heavens, thoughts were sent to the universe, and wonderful things
happened. There have been more blessings
than I can count and I will be forever grateful. I’ve experienced support from people I work
with now, people I’ve worked with in the past, friends from school (all the way
down to kindergarten), and people in my neighborhood. There has been outreach and supplication from
nuns. Agnostics. People in Malta, Russia, France, Kazakhstan, Italy…there
are too many places to name, and too many people to thank. It’s inadequate, but thank you, thank you,
thank you.
Those who have read the blog know how desperately I
wanted to avoid surgery. After having
had 3 of them already, I knew what to expect.
The absolute worst part of the process for me is always the time post-surgery
when I still have the breathing tube in—the “intubation.” I get strapped to the bed and a breathing tube
is down my throat and I am awake, but completely powerless. The only way I can really describe it is hell. Nonetheless, with the worst behind me, I know I have been blessed. Without wanting to sound dramatic, a doctor
told me after surgery that a person doesn’t get closer to dying than I was. I know prayers were answered, and interestingly,
this time it was through the means I specifically hoped against at the beginning
of the process. Comfort was given and
health has been restored.
Some have asked what I learned during this process. In addition to experiencing the miracles of
prayer firsthand, I’ve had some serious time to reflect on my life and improvements
I can make. One of the biggest? My lack of patience. I’ve known for a long time that I am an impatient
person in a big way. Ask anyone in my
house or that I work with. Sometimes I
think it can be a strength, but there are lots of times I simply need to
“chill” more and let things happen. I
need to remember some of those lessons that Oogway taught Shifu in Kung Fu
Panda (sorry…I had to reference one of my favorite movies) and practice letting
go of “the illusion of control.” I will
also benefit from adjusting my expectations.
I still haven’t forgotten the wisdom I learned in Calvin and Hobbes when
Calvin taught that having some low expectations can add to happiness.
Not in a bad way; I know that sometimes my
expectations of myself and others are too high, and it has led to disappointment. However, that frustration is all based on my
own subjective expectations, and that can thankfully be changed. Lastly, if I don’t go out of my way to keep it
“in check”, I generally tend to be a pessimistic person. The wonderful thing is that through this
process, my view has been altered. While
the doctors and medical staff repaired my heart physically, the prayers and
kindness that have been shown on my behalf have repaired my heart
emotionally.
This is a special time of year for many people. Thank you again for your kindness, your
humanity, your goodness, and your faith. There is an inexplicable joy we can feel when
we treat each other with respect and kindness.
It’s a special connection. My
hope for myself and others is that we can keep this going, regardless of the
time of year or what the circumstances.
I’ve always loved being in small towns where people drive by and lift
their index finger off the steering wheel in greeting. I’ve come to appreciate this kind gesture as
the “happy one-finger wave,” and I’ve never understood (or liked) the angry one-finger
wave that seems to happen more in busy, crowded places.
I offer the happy one-finger wave to all of you.
Thor
P. S. A special
thanks to my family. My parents, my
children, all of my siblings, my wife’s family, and especially my wife. We “celebrated” our 24th wedding
anniversary in the hospital, and my wife Leah stayed at the hospital every
night I was there (we are talking 7 weeks!).
She made tremendous sacrifices to be there to support me and put up with
my cranky attitude. Among missing many
other things, she sacrificed her opportunity to campaign for city council, only
losing by about 200 votes against incumbents because she missed out on prime
campaigning time. Leah, I wish I was
more like you.
