Thursday, December 28, 2017

closing it up: thor's ramblings

Before I offer some concluding comments, I must confess: I have been pretty resistant to the whole blog/social media idea, so please forgive me for not being more involved with it.  I hate attention and dramatics and typically avoid those things as much as I can.  At the same time, though, a lot of concerned people have asked for updates, and these have been the most effective means of sharing those.  Thank you for sticking around throughout this story, and thank you to those who have updated you all on my journey.  This will hopefully be the closing chapter of this blog and the beginning of some new adventures for me.

In a world where division is one of the most notable features, the past two months have been a powerful witness to me of how people can come together despite differing personal beliefs.  The world is full of amazing people.  I am so grateful for the prayers and positive thoughts that have come from so many people from all over the world and all kinds of backgrounds (I guess that’s one good thing about social media).  People were asked to pray, prayers were sent to the heavens, thoughts were sent to the universe, and wonderful things happened.  There have been more blessings than I can count and I will be forever grateful.   I’ve experienced support from people I work with now, people I’ve worked with in the past, friends from school (all the way down to kindergarten), and people in my neighborhood.  There has been outreach and supplication from nuns.  Agnostics. People in Malta, Russia, France, Kazakhstan, Italy…there are too many places to name, and too many people to thank.  It’s inadequate, but thank you, thank you, thank you. 

Those who have read the blog know how desperately I wanted to avoid surgery.  After having had 3 of them already, I knew what to expect.  The absolute worst part of the process for me is always the time post-surgery when I still have the breathing tube in—the “intubation.”  I get strapped to the bed and a breathing tube is down my throat and I am awake, but completely powerless.  The only way I can really describe it is hell.  Nonetheless, with the worst behind me, I know I have been blessed.  Without wanting to sound dramatic, a doctor told me after surgery that a person doesn’t get closer to dying than I was.  I know prayers were answered, and interestingly, this time it was through the means I specifically hoped against at the beginning of the process.  Comfort was given and health has been restored.

Some have asked what I learned during this process.  In addition to experiencing the miracles of prayer firsthand, I’ve had some serious time to reflect on my life and improvements I can make.  One of the biggest?  My lack of patience.  I’ve known for a long time that I am an impatient person in a big way.  Ask anyone in my house or that I work with.  Sometimes I think it can be a strength, but there are lots of times I simply need to “chill” more and let things happen.  I need to remember some of those lessons that Oogway taught Shifu in Kung Fu Panda (sorry…I had to reference one of my favorite movies) and practice letting go of “the illusion of control.”  I will also benefit from adjusting my expectations.  I still haven’t forgotten the wisdom I learned in Calvin and Hobbes when Calvin taught that having some low expectations can add to happiness.
Not in a bad way; I know that sometimes my expectations of myself and others are too high, and it has led to disappointment.  However, that frustration is all based on my own subjective expectations, and that can thankfully be changed.  Lastly, if I don’t go out of my way to keep it “in check”, I generally tend to be a pessimistic person.  The wonderful thing is that through this process, my view has been altered.  While the doctors and medical staff repaired my heart physically, the prayers and kindness that have been shown on my behalf have repaired my heart emotionally.    

This is a special time of year for many people.  Thank you again for your kindness, your humanity, your goodness, and your faith.  There is an inexplicable joy we can feel when we treat each other with respect and kindness.  It’s a special connection.  My hope for myself and others is that we can keep this going, regardless of the time of year or what the circumstances.  I’ve always loved being in small towns where people drive by and lift their index finger off the steering wheel in greeting.  I’ve come to appreciate this kind gesture as the “happy one-finger wave,” and I’ve never understood (or liked) the angry one-finger wave that seems to happen more in busy, crowded places. 

I offer the happy one-finger wave to all of you.

Thor

P. S.  A special thanks to my family.  My parents, my children, all of my siblings, my wife’s family, and especially my wife.  We “celebrated” our 24th wedding anniversary in the hospital, and my wife Leah stayed at the hospital every night I was there (we are talking 7 weeks!).  She made tremendous sacrifices to be there to support me and put up with my cranky attitude.  Among missing many other things, she sacrificed her opportunity to campaign for city council, only losing by about 200 votes against incumbents because she missed out on prime campaigning time.  Leah, I wish I was more like you.