the joy of being home

Thorvald here, finally reporting from the comfort of my home.  They released me on Tuesday, and what a joy it is to be back!  I sleep better on the sofa here than I ever slept at the hospital.  There is indeed something special about home, and it thankfully, it’s a whole lot more than the comfort of a sofa. 

in case you needed a visual of dad sleeping on the couch, don't worry--we got you

Over the last couple of weeks and even to the present day, I have gotten so many encouraging messages.  I have no words to describe how much joy and strength these give to me.  Every time Leah reads me a message of how someone is praying for me or thinking good thoughts for me or doing anything to be supportive, I get quite emotional.  There are family members, neighbors, co-workers, friends, and sometimes even strangers who offer well-wishes and prayers.  To each of you who have done so, please accept my eternal gratitude.  Someday I hope to be able to thank each of you individually for the strength you have provided for me during this time. 

So, yes.  I am now home and determined to enjoy it while I can since we don’t know how long it will last.  I went into the hospital with some out-of-control fevers and they quickly diagnosed me with endocarditis.  However, despite being there 22 days, the nature of the infection was never determined.  We also learned through CT scans that the infection was doing some damage to my heart; in fact, it created a pseudoaneurysm inside the aorta.  After getting that explained to us, my understanding is that there was kind of a thin spot (like a weak spot on a balloon) on the wall of my heart and that this has grown and grown.  Sometimes they refer to it as a hole, but the blood doesn’t actually go anywhere.  It just collects in there.  It’s worrisome because it’s getting bigger, and if it continues to grow it could burst…which isn’t the outcome I’m looking for, in case any of you are wondering.

dad being in the hospital was actually a big cover up for him starring in dr. pepper commercials // coming home from the hospital !!!  

Even though I’m here at home, there’s a lot of work to be done. I’m taking all sorts of pills and IV antibiotics every day through a PICC line, and Monday I go in for another big test: another CT scan.  I’ve been told that if the results of that CT scan look worse than the last one, I’ll need to stay at the hospital.  I don’t know exactly what would happen then, but I do know that at least two of the options they have in mind are surgery (to repair the pseudoaneurysm, remove the infection and also possibly replace my mechanical valves) or using a plug to repair the pseudoaneurysm as they mentioned more recently.

 dad's favorite nurse. please note dad's super healthy danish cookies he ate as a snack

And thus, the waiting game continues.  It’s a weird feeling to experience—to have so much ambiguity and so many unknowns, yet also to feel so at peace with whatever happens.  I truly believe I have a purpose, that I still have work to do.  Wholeheartedly, I feel at peace with this process and again thank each of you for your prayers and kind thoughts.  It helps. 

Much love,

Tony